This is “Pause”:
“Why do you sit so long in your car before you go inside? Don’t you like your family?” Oh, honey. I sit in my car so long before going inside because I love my family.
Life is rushing. Moments passing by without even being noticed.
the half asleep zombie walk to the coffee pot,
the toddler screaming “Mama mama mama, I peed in my bed”,
the wet sheets,
the rest of the laundry in the bedroom,
start the washer,
bathe the toddler,
now the infant is screaming,
make the bottle,
dress the toddler,
husband feeds baby,
toddler needs milk and a bar,
remember you have coffee,
drink it cold you’re in a hurry,
make sure all the kids match,
hollering about the contents of their book-bags,
remember you have a ministry meeting after work,
oh Lord, remember the meeting AT work,
search dirty hamper for dress pants and least wrinkled top,
shower……ya right who has time for that,
an entire can of dry shampoo,
Rush out the door 10 minutes behind,
Long day at work,
And now I’m back home again and I am exhausted.
So yes, here I will sit before I go inside. Because I love my kids and I am grateful for the mess and the noise and busyness and the love they bring in my life.
Without the pause, I go in angry and tired.
The pause in the car of a busy working mom is sometimes the only pause in the day, the pause to pray, to reflect, to ask for forgiveness, to see my blessings, to breathe, to hear God,
You don’t wait before going inside because you don’t like your family, you pause because you love your family.