Codependency: When Too Much Is Never Enough!
Codependency in today’s world is a hush hush word. People think of it as some type of disease, which it is not. It is a stronghold in someone’s life that can be broken.
I have experienced a lot of people with codependency in my life. Whether it be a family member, friend or co-worker. I’ve seen firsthand the damaging effects it has on all relationships. It’s hard, its painful and quite honestly, very destructive on all parties involved. I believe it is a tool of the enemy to pull our dependency away from God and onto man! One sad thing about codependency, is that for many, this behavior and pattern seems natural to them. More is never enough. (more love, more things, more time)
Codependency is a behavioral condition in a relationship where one person enables another person’s addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, or irresponsibility.
Some behavior traits of someone who is walking in codependency are:
Trying to control others’ behaviors
Compromising one’s own values and integrity to avoid rejection
Lack of trust
Always feeling alone
Lack of boundaries
Needing to be needed
Ask yourself these questions:
- Does your sense of purpose involve making extreme sacrifices to satisfy other's needs?
- Is it difficult to say no when other's problems make demands on your time and energy?
- Do you cover other's problems with drugs, alcohol, or law?
- Do you constantly worry about other's opinions of you?
- Do you feel trapped?
- Do you keep quiet to avoid arguments?
As you are reading through these behaviors and questions above, you may find you have some, if not all, of these patterns in your life. If so, I want to encourage you that there is freedom from codependency and steps that you can take to take hold of that freedom.
Step 1: First, you must recognize that there is an issue.
Step 2: Get in the WORD - There are over 35 verses in the bible that speak about being free from codependency and while I cannot type them all here, I encourage you to get in the Word and find the ones that you can hold onto.
Step 3: Know who you are in Christ! Speak positive declarations over your life
Step 4: Find a counselor or an accountability group to help you walk out your freedom.
Step 5: There are a few good books out today, that can give you more insight into codependency (Codependent No More By: Melody Beattie)
Remember God loves you so much and there is freedom in Christ. This freedom doesn’t always come easy, but God is with you every step of the way.
“For am I now seeking the approval of man or of God or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” - Galatians 1:10
Dr. Trudy is a Counselor, Life Coach and Speaker.